Process [series b]

I took an Ashtanga yoga class for the first time this week, the only appreciable difference between it & every other class I've taken was the specificity of a series. This is series A of our wide-legged forward fold, and I don't believe my head will ever touch solid ground. So this is series b of my (current) process(es). 

In October I wrote 49 poems. Over the course of my writing life, less than four years, I've written upward of 800 poems or scraps. It's much easier for me to make time for creating than for revising. I've made a few attempts, and have started fresh now that I am in a wildly difference state. 

When I've revised in the past I've actually just tweaked, edited, altered the cosmetics. This time I am brutal, I eviscerated my list of 800 to 400 workable (& always growing). I've challenged myself to identify a stanza, a theme, a mood, a feeling from some of my older poems and then to write something almost completely new that is evocative of the original idea. This wasn't a conscious choice. Some poems needed very little. I've deeply enjoyed the process of writing the poem that 2014 Carrie couldn't, but was so close to. 

This is Road maps [2014]
Daily life built
around rituals,
small acts that
impart a feeling
of control even
when I know
control is an illusion,
keeping me chained
to a ticking clock
that can't contend
with the uncertainty
a life lived fully.

The universe will
treat you as
she sees fit,
and use your best
laid plans as
road maps for
perfectly timed
disruption. 

And Road maps [2017]
cruise control
let’s roll
button press
set the GPS
best laid
maps fade
fly out
become devout
so if i pray
western highway
cactus heat
scorched feet
believing in hover
oh, lover
let’s float
lovely scapegoat
talking back
her attack
words make change
molecules rearrange
you forgot
you were brought
smooth handed
fully landed
made to feel
your own wheel
what a swift curse
sweet universe